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Natasha Romanoff, also known as Black Widow, confronts the darker parts of her ledger when a dangerous conspiracy with ties to her past arises. Pursued by a force that will stop at nothing to bring her down, Natasha must deal with her history as a spy and the broken relationships left in her wake long before she became an Avenger.
Released: 2021–07–07
Runtime: 134 min.
Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller, Science Fiction
Stars: Scarlett Johansson, Florence Pugh, Rachel Weisz, David Harbour, Ray Winstone, Olga Kurylenko
Director:
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No, The Black Widow isn’t singing with the dead parrot in the celestial choir, so knock it off, already.
There’s no chalk outline marking where the Russian superspy used to be. Put away those tear-stained hankerchiefs. Stop posting mournful laments to Natasha Romanoff on Facebook. To paraphrase the great Mark Twain, “the reports of her death were exaggerated.”
What’s that? Yes, I saw the Black Widow heroically sacrificing her life in Avengers: Endgame. So what’s your point? Dr. McCoy once said, “He’s dead, Jim.” Didn’t Spock prove him wrong? Han didn’t let his death in Tokyo Drift stop him.
In comic book movies (and the Fast and Furious series is a comic book; Dom and his crew just don’t wear capes), one of the eternal unspoken rules is this: when a character is popular, Death is only a flesh wound.
And as successful as film producer Kevin Fiege has been in guiding the MCU, I believe he seriously miscalculated just how immensely popular the Black Widow was. One thing that explains Fiege’s reluctance in not greenlighting Black Widow sooner is this: although he’s smart, innovative and adventurous, Fiege is still a studio guy. And movie studios’ guys are notoriously averse to risk.
The days when a madman like Francis Ford Coppola would be allowed to blow deadlines and go wildly over budget to film Apocalypse Now are gone. Sequels are safer than spending money on something New.
Shamefully, movie studio guys think that a big-budget action movie with a female lead is dialing ‘risk’ up to 11. Oh hell no. The horror, the horror. Let’s do another reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles instead.
In addition, Fiege probably thought about the tribes of Howler Monkey Fanboys who hate any fantasy & sci-fi movie that isn’t a wall-to-wall sausage fest.
They hated the all-female remake of Ghostbusters. They hated Rey. They hated Birds of Prey. They hated the Thirteenth Doctor. They hated Rose Tico. They hated that Arya killed The Night King. (They love cartoon bimbos like Barb Wire and Cheryl 2000, though. Guns, boobs, and high heels. What’s not to love?)
So yeah, these misogynist fanboy assclowns (who took up a lot of real estate online) made the studio guys nervous too. (Spoiler alert: they shouldn’t have been. Don’t forget, they hated Carol Danvers too, and Captain Marvel cashed out at 1.1 billion worldwide.)
But Wonder Woman was the game changer, and the DCEU got there first. Oops. That had to hurt, didn’t it, Kevin?
Let’s jump cut to: Better Late Than Never. After several delays, Black Widow finally premieres, and makes a shitload of money. $218.8 million globally between ticket sales and Disney+ Premier Access. Think about that. In the middle of a pandemic, truckloads of people went to the movies. It did better numbers than Fast and Furious 9. Not bad for an icky girl, huh?
You know what’s funny? The studio guys sounded…surprised. (Spoiler alert, the sequel: they shouldn’t have been. Didn’t they pay attention to the tons of Black Widow fan fiction online? The fierce little girls dressed up as Black Widow on Halloween? The Black Widow cosplayers at sf cons? D’oh.)
Herein lies the problem. The studio guys are frolicking naked in a swimming pool full of crisp $100 bills. Of course the greedy bastards want a sequel. They’re at Natasha Romanoff’s graveside right now, using their shovels to pry open the coffin lid.
What excuse will they use this time to explain the Black Widow’s return from the dead? A twin sister, maybe a clone, or a Natasha from an alternative universe? Is Melisandre busy? Doesn’t matter, any one will do.
But what happens if Scarlett Johansson says no?
Johansson has played the Black Widow for over a decade. It’s a physically demanding role. It’s not unreasonable to assume that Johansson might not want to beat up her body anymore.
There are certainly more than a few bruised cautionary tales limping around Hollywood. After starring as Rick O’Connell in The Mummy trilogy, Brendan Fraser took so much physical abuse that he struggles with spasms of debilitating pain even today.
I’m sure Johansson knows not leaving now means that sooner or later there’s months of rehab and possibly a knee replacement down the road. No, it’s not unreasonable if Johansson is thinking, I’m rich. And I’m too old for this shit.
Besides, it’s not her fault that the MCU waited so long to do Black Widow. It was the studio guys who chose to frustrate the fans for years, ignoring the big fat cash cow staring them in the face.
I’m sure if given the opportunity, Johansson definitely would have preferred to play Natasha Romanoff again than doing Lucy or Ghost in the Shell. It was the studio guys who couldn’t pull the trigger, not her. Hell, even Ant-Man got a trilogy.
There’s only one thing the studio guys can do to fix their problem, and most of the time it works. Kevin Fiege will pay Scarlett Johansson a visit, and he will respectfully bend the knee and whisper to the God of Death, “Not Today.”
And then he’ll offer Scarlett Johansson a blank check. Hey, resurrections don’t come cheap.
